This whole beef ban has caused such a split in the office. Such stiff opinions. And, I state this for the tape before this whole saga erupts once again, what with the loyal readership I have! I'm not intolerant. I do non back up the beef ban. Now, moving on to more intellectual things I'grand nigh to share with you.

The office conversation goes forth the following lines.

The not-vegetarians go, "Information technology's my right. My choice. To have beef at dwelling, outside of home, with people, without people! My pick! Why does some babu in the government get to determine my culinary pursuits?" The woman's confront is so cherry-red that I get out the room fearing she might plow to cannibalism soon.

The chat then goes off on a tangent, as such conversations ofttimes practice. The Jains begin voicing their opinions on the meat ban during their religious time. The human goes, "It's merely off-white! We're fasting and praying and being pious. Merely imagine what it'll feel like to walk along the route and sentry meat beingness slaughtered while nosotros're at it! We're just asking for respite during our sacred period." The piety is so credible on the man's face that I must leave for fear of existence converted.

With all this happening, I had an epiphany. As I so often do. If there was a penny for every one of my epiphanies, I'd be on one of those lists – twoscore most powerful women on the Indian blog-osphere. Sadly, reality and the dreams of making that elusive list are very far apart.

Now, the epiphany I had has made me realize that there is a strict hierarchy of abstinence. It will practise you good to note that I'grand speaking strictly in reference to the Indian context, which is honestly the only context I know. I tin can claim to know virtually the world and a few hours of Google searches will make me seem like a knowledgeable pundit. But, I'd prefer to perfect the business model at home and so aggrandize geographically. Then, out hither in the U.s. of India, the eating habits of the Jains put them on the top the pyramid with the about abstinence and the beef eaters bring up the solid bottom. I feel my screen cringing while I'm typing the word out — 'B-E-E-F'. I can imagine my granny shaking her head disapprovingly, "Shiva Shiva".

'The Hierarchy of Abstinence' (Picture courtesy: Karthic Muthuraman)
'The Bureaucracy of Abstinence' (Picture courtesy: Karthic Muthuraman)

Then, there are the shape-shifters. They ride upwards and downwards the pyramid based on certain strict rules which have been handed downwardly the generations along with immeasurable wealth and pickle recipes. The factors which make up one's mind the travel beyond the many levels of the pyramid are:

  • Fourth dimension: Strict Non-vegetarians who are strict vegetarians on Tuesdays and Saturdays.
  • Infinite: Strict vegetarians at home who are strict non-vegetarians in restaurants.
  • Context: Strict Jains in the presence of family who become strict vegetarians in the presence of friends.
  • Form: Strict vegetarians who consume egg only in cakes and chocolates, where their conscience needn't be troubled by the sight of egg.

Along with the epiphany, came a sorry realization. What's the use of an epiphany if it doesn't brand me expect all morose? See, information technology's so cool to be at the extremes of the pyramid – the Jains, who practise the about field of study and look down upon the uncivilized folks below them. Or, the beef eaters, who wait up at all higher up them with a scorn to permit them know they're missing out on all things worth living for!

You meet what happens here?  I'm at the middle of the pyramid – an 'eggetarian' as we're called.  Information technology's the most uninteresting place to be. Nosotros aren't taken seriously past either side. The Jains dismiss us equally we cheat on even being vegetarians. The meek "But, it's non killed!" argument doesn't cut it with them. The Non-Vegetarians dismiss us as we stop simply where it starts getting interesting.

We can neither merits to be the monk nor the rebel! If I put my hand on my heart, I've got nothing to say to anyone but, "I've got no beefiness with whatsoever of you, bro!"

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Disclaimer

Views expressed above are the author'south own.

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